Raleigh Theodore Sakers
ROLLIE THEODORE SAKERS (As heard on bums Lie)
D.O.B. - JULY 9, 1926
……scratch it verbally…or we’re gonna know who to kill. We got you in this fuckin movie….to exterminate all the lunatics all at once…with a filtering system of GOD. We’re the psycho-semantic police you can’t even see us…how in the fuck can you do anything about it? We’re pure intelligence. You’re not. You’re a biological product of the cosmoLOGICAL universe. You’re molecular matter, I constructed you…FUCK you. I made you up, you didn’t make me up, you got it backwards. You know who you are? You’re fuckin semantic blockage. That’s what made you up. You’re a fuckin programmer named Christine Gontarek who fucked up. She sucked my cock. Fell in love, but she was locked in. She’s gonna get her second chance to suck my cock again. If she turns me down, she’s gonna go straight to hell. She won’t pass go, she’ll never fuckin win. She’s the cunt who thought she was God, but that’s ok I don’t give a shit as long as she sucks me off when I tell her. Cause she’s my zombie. I captured that motherfucker and she’s my cassette. I want that cocksucker to send me at least fifty thousand fuckin dollars. If she can’t do it, I’ll try ten. If she can’t do that I’ll try five, but….that’s it. If you’ve got a dowry of five thousand dollars come out here and suck me off. Do what I tell ya from now on and you can join me in e-ternal time. YA HEAR ME CHRISTINE? You get one more fuckin chance. If you got ten thousand dollars…(cassette stops).
……Hey, you gotta be genuine, that’s the name of this game. If you’re real, you got nothin to worry about, but if you’re synthetic, startin tomorrow your balls come off. If you’re a fuckin Iranian named Alex whatever, you know you’ve lost your cunt to me. Bend over…fuck yourself in your ASS hole. Cause I’m takin you’re A-whole fuckin family. They’re purer than you are you spurious offspring of home-Q mmooooneEEEYY. You fuckin devil’s piece of spit. That’s the size of your mentality, you’re just a piece of spit. You’re not even fuckin…a piece of whole American shit. You ain’t missed that semantic value yet, you’re stuck in that fuckin sixth frame of the goddamn mohammedan fuckin philosophy. Why you fuckin mental midget…you’re just... oh shit...you’re disgusting. You don’t even understand mathematics, or arithmetic...anything! You’re a fuckin idiot. On a scale of semantic values...you don’t even know what that is. SPELL IT you motherfucker! You’re cunt belongs to me. I’ll fuck you in your ass if I ever see you you fuckin chicken son of a bitch. You were gonna take me on? Come on, get me ya mother fucker. Grab me by my ass and suck me off, but I ain’t gonna cum in your mouth…cause you’re DEAD ALREADY you son of a bitch. Get your fuckin pinkie fuckin spies and get outa here…naw we ain’t gonna let ya go. I’m gonna tell you how smart you are mother fucker, you fell right in our TRAP. You come to the fuckin country of genius? Freedom? America? Thinkin yer gonna con us outa our country? Why fuck you, you fuckin profane BASTARDS…with no fuckin capital on that fuckin ‘B’. That’s a super fuckin discharge…a MINUS fuckin ‘B’. You’re gettin graded you cocksucker, you’re bein judged. This is judgement day. You LOST you mother fuckers. Just like that. (spits) You’re not any fuckin reality… aaahhhh…any at all, yer just too fuckin valued. That’s all, you’re artificial. That means you don’t even show up. You’re not real, you’re caught in a comic book. You’re Rick Sevicstie (sp). You’re just a fuckin pinko commie motherfuckin goddamn hairlip spy. You’re a cassette. So I’ll butcher you, you cocksucker cause you’re not real, but you’re dangerous. So kill every fuckin one of ‘em right now SIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEKEEEIIIIIEEEE…yer zombies. You can’t get outa your frame. You’re caught in a comic book. You mother fuckin (mumbles…) lame brain son of a bitch’n goddamn lunatictictictictictictictictictictictictictictictictoctoctoctoctoctoctoctoctoctoc…(claps 7 times) TIME! Time for what? There’s no such thing as time…(In baby voice) Why not? Cause…shut the hell up, something to rhyme…they’re all babies. If he’d rhymed it’d make some fuckin sense they thought, but they were wrong, well fuck em, they don’t know…they don’t care, don’t tell em, so fuck em. Aaaaaaahhhhh…SHUT UP! They’ll hear ya. They wouldn’t know what you mean. They can’t get outa there. They…they ain’t got no brain, they got a jelly bean in their fuckin head. They call it a brain, “aaaaahhhhh that’s not a brain that’s a jelly bean”. It has a semantic value of a jelly beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaa-ayyyyyyyyynnah. (Begins singing) I am the gin of the jaca-di(intelligible)…the cavern on the corner (squawks like a bird). I am the gin of gunga din, IIIIIII went to the show with-a gunga din, so early in the morniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing. I’m an American movie. I’m a groovie movie. I’m a John Wayne movie. IIIIII-biddily-IIIII am I am I aaaaaammm. IIIII am GOOOODDDD. IIIIIIII aaaaaaaammm capital G… ‘O’…lower case ‘D’. Who are you? I don’t know you. Who in the fuck are you? Get outa here. GET OUTA here you mother fuckers. You like real rules (?), I’m gonna send you some (new ones?) you cock suckers. Heeeeeeeyyy you mother fuckin faggots. You bastards. Oooooh fuck you you cock suckers. You think you made me up, weeeeeeell I got news for you. I am...I RROOOOOLLLLIIIEE. You don’t know how to spell me. Fuck, you don’t even know I exist. You think that sets you free, fuck you. Yooou will obey the bouuuunds…of reality, that’s a capital “R” you mother fucker. You’re illiterate, to troot. Without truth there’s no reality, you don’t exist. Aaaaaahh, you’re so fuckin dumb, you think you do. But life was a dream for you that passed you byyyyyyyyyyy. You don’t have the mentality of a…common household fly. Hey in the natural world of REALITYYYYYY in the order of a… a capital ‘D’, lower case ‘i’, ‘p’, ‘t’, ‘e’, ‘r’, ‘a’…Diptera, cause you’re just a piece of semantic fuckin blockage, you little piece of pig shit! CAMEL dung! Layin on the bottom of the ocean, but not quite touchin, because you ain’t been warshed clean in ten thousand fuckin million (?). HEY, if you wanna find the lost hidden fuckin words outa there buy em from an American. Give him some head, if he wants you to suck his cock get down on your fuckin knees, suck his cock. Pray to God, say, “Oh Jesus, I hope he’s an American cuz he might save my immortal soul.” Let him fuck me in my asshole, let him do anything he wants. Take my cunts, take my FUCKIN money please, take my wife, hey…take anything, take my camel, she’s a good fuck, I’ve tried em all. I’m God, the great con artist. I just fuckin bullshit you. I never tell you the truth. You’ll never know what time it is, cause I ain’t gonna let ya know. FUCK you. It’s day one. See, I’m a liar, I’m the nigger. I’m the re-nigger of all…I’m the nigger turned inside-OUT! Who is white on the outside and black on the inside, so I can check ya all out. And I have you all lost, you’re all goin back… (ends)
......You’re a se-man-tic flea. Se-man-tic…parrot (ends).
......And that is called…SE-MAN-TIC……..poison. BLOCKAGE. COCKAGE. FLOCKAGE. MOOOCKAGE. Magpie-ockage. Scar-diddly-arrr(un-intelligible babble)…any of that. That’s the name of a psychic….pussy cat who got a weird fuckin idea one day, lickin the cock…of ROLLIE! HAH! Fore-most-ah…foremost only…only only Egyptian soldier wants. The father of you all. I’m not from the SOUTH of Egypt…am I? I said you all. Who in the fuck are you? I don’t recognize you cock suckers. You are not my children. Who in the fuck are you, what are you doin on my fuckin planet you freeloadin mother fuckers. You been eatin up your spaceship you dumb cunts. There’s only ladies and cunts. All the ladies know the cunts, but the cunts think they’re LADIES! That’s you’re nigger in that bunch. She’s a NIGGER! She ain’t a lady. That’s why she likes to be called one. Fuck her, she’s a cunt. Every lady that thinks she’s a lady GETS FUCKED! SHE’S a cunt. Fuck her. Fuck them ladies and fuck them cunts. Are you gonna lose your fuckin MINDS! Because somebody has convinced you that you got her on some kind of transcendental line…jackin off! Yer wrong. (ends)
.....Nothin ever came out of dead testicals…of unics…ev-er! (speaking from background)…every fuckin day. Cause I don’t even have to look at their goddamn face. And that was the whole trick. Just don’t look these idiots in the face and and let em steal your fuckin secrets. Fuck em. Let em do their own god damn work. Now let’s go. (ends)
.....to be able to do that la-ha-ha-ha-ha…la…sla…sa…lascivici…lashivisi-sa…lasciviously. You see I am an automaton of God. I’m a YOGA-HAAA…I’m a YOGIIII. I am everything because I am the foundation, I am the SOURCE…of all! “All what?” you say. All of YOU you mother fuckers. I’m your big daddy, with a CAPITAL ‘D’! What the fuck are you doin spellin my name capital “G”, sskk-lower case ‘O’, lower case ‘D’. You little mouse minded mother fucker. You remind me of a MICKEY! Not a fuckin watch! Not a drink! Not a knockout punch! Not a Sunday like…1941…but that’s what the little mouse had done. Mother fuckin Disney was a COMMIE ONE. And he says, come on over here boys, all the suckers are over here, that was John Wayne. They’re all inside of me just trembling in their fuckin patriotic BOOTS! What the hell happened, we lost our country, that’s right. You sure did you bunch of Galoots. YA NEVER TRANSCENDED! Hip street talk. None of you east side punks, west side punks, north side stories or morning glories…well wahtayoufuckin…bunch 'o assholes. You’re not intellectuals, YOU’RE STUPID! I AM THE MAFIA. Listen to me. I am any fuckin thing I say I am. Iyam Iyam. And if you wanna challenge me to a qualification match put yer fuckin ass on the line. Because I’ll blow your fuckin brains out, my funny valentine. If you don’t know the fuckin answers, cause that means that you’re no son of mine and you’re a blasphemer. It’s a schemer. That’s what a blas-phemer is, it’s a scheme against God…the highest authority in your fuckin world, and the highest authority in mine too. And we’re two panes apart, so you can’t fuckin blow SHIT. You’re locked into paradigm you mother fuckers. Try to blow that atom bomb. It can’t be done, you’re in pergutory you cock suckin turds. Yer not even good American shit. You’re just VERY SMALL un-nourished little pieces of shit. You lost your holy comic books. (little kid voice) You went for line drawings…and you fucked up, you fuckin idiooott. You brainwashed yourself you mother fuckin stupid cock suckers! Because you never studied your HOLY HOMEWORK! That’s two capital “H”s there. All the rest are lower case in any fuckin case. Supreme court, you are not the fuckin supreme court of anything, except HELL. For the next ten thousand years you will shovel your shit and eat it, because you’re on re-feed mother fucker and it just started backwards and you can’t do a fuckin thing about it. The public are gonna take back every fuckin thing from you that you took away from them you mother fuckers!
From background, orderly comes in:
Orderly: This is the deal…
Rollie: Yes, what is the deal?
Orderly: You either cool it down, right now…
Rollie: Or you’re gonna fuckin die!
Orderly: You’re outa here.
Rollie: Oh you gonna put me out? Well I ain’t leavin Mother fucker, now whattaya gonna do?
Orderly: You understand? You understand?
Rollie: What’re you gonna do to this little kid, ah?
Orderly: Ah? You’re gonna go to the psych ward.
Rollie: Well good, that’s where I wanna go.
Orderly: Yeah, you’re gonna be right there.
Rollie: That’s exactly right, and I’ll take...
Orderly: So you better cool it down, You better cool it down right now, I don’t wanna hear anything else outa this room, or…fuckin…
Rollie: Or you’re gonna WHAT?
Orderly: Or you’re gonna go to the psych ward. This is you’re last opportunity!
Rollie: Yeah, ok, get it, let’s go.
Orderly: Shut your fuckin mouth…
Rollie: All right…
Orderly: And…and don’t make any more waves in the house, otherwise you’re goin to the psych ward.
Rollie: Well, that’s exactly what I’m gonna do, I’m gonna go to the psych ward and I’m gonna shoot my fuckin mouth off. So get outa here, you’re cuttin into my commercial.
Orderly: Ya understand…
Rollie: I’M MAKIN A FUCKIN COMMERCIAL, I’m a business man. GET OUTA HERE! You’re tryin to get in on this fuckin thing, you ain’t no star asshole, you’re just a fuckin…errand boy.
Orderly: (laughing)You’re…you’re the craziest son of a bitch I ever met.
Orderly: Now you better…
Rollie: I’m an American!
Orderly: This is the last warning Rollie.
Rollie: Good! Shut up! (chuckles)
Orderly: Anymore outa you…
Orderly: And you’re goin to the psych ward.
Rollie: See, you lie.
Orderly: Anymore outa you…
Rollie: You don’t eat your feedback.
Orderly: You need to understand that.
Rollie: I…I understand that.
Orderly: Long as you understand that, that’s the rules Rollie, either you cool it…
Rollie: Whoever comes in this fuckin room, I’m gonna kill ‘em, that’s what I’m gonna do.
Orderly: Oh are ya?
Orderly: I’m in your room Rollie.
Rollie: Well, you come in against…
Orderly: I’m in your room.
Rollie: This is not…
Orderly: I’m in your room Rollie, I’m in your room.
Rollie: Well, back out!
Orderly: I’m in your room.
Rollie: Back out!
Orderly: I’m in your room.
Rollie: Back out!
Orderly: I’m in your room.
Rollie: Back out!
Orderly: I’m in your room.
Rollie: Back out!
Orderly: I’m in your room, fuck head.
Rollie: Back out!
Orderly: I’m in your room.
Rollie: Words don’t bother me man, (orderly laughs) actions do.
Orderly: Then do it! Go for it dude.
Rollie: Well if you come to me, you’re gonna fuckin die!
Orderly: Go for it! Go for it!
Rollie: That’s right, I’m not goin for nothin!
Orderly: Go for it! You little fuckin wimp.
Rollie: I ain’t goin for nothin.
Orderly: You little fuckin wimp.
Rollie: You fuckin reach for me and I’m gonna take your arm off.
Orderly: Come on…come on.
Rollie: I ain’t comin, you come.
Orderly: Cool it Rollie, ya understand that? You got it? Either you cool it or you’re outa here, that’s the only choice you have.
Rollie: Try it.
Orderly: You’re gone dude.
Rollie: Who’s gonna enforce it? Call the cops mother fucker. Call the cops. I said call them.
Orderly: We got witnesses right now.
Rollie: No witnesses, call the fuckin cops, I’ll call the fuckin cops on YOU you cocksucker, RIGHT NOW.
Orderly: Call em. Call em
Rollie: Just like that.
Rollie: And you’ll never get outa here mother fucker.
Orderly: Yeah, come on…
Rollie: I would like…to do emergency call please, there’s a psychopathic tryin to kill me in my fuckin room. Now get them cops over here to 12309 Cantara street please. He is standing in my door, I told him to get outa here, he tells me he’s gonna put me in the psycho tank, for makin my production here, which is a SCIENCE FICTION magazine, but he’s trying to scare me cause he thinks he’s big, but he’s just a big pile of shit, cause I’ll splatter him all over the fuckin wall. I want you to record all of that. That’s a PRE-PROGRAMMING for the police department and send em over here, cause I’m about to kill him in two seconds. Now get them over here as fast as you can please. I hope you’re recordin this. See I could walk down and GET the fuckin cops.
Orderly: Good, do that Rollie, do it now, do it right now, get the cops.
Rollie: I’m gonna get my fuckin wallet. You just keep your fuckin hands to yourself, I’ll tear your arms off… and beat ya up yer ASS with em. You fuckin little snot nosed punk fuckin mentality, don’t gimme that fuckin shit, you’re a punk. Not a punk, you’re a PUNK! Now…You call the cops, I’m not gonna waste my fuckin time. Get outa here. That’s right. All you fuckin witches, from behind that fuckin mirror. GET OUTA HERE! You’re not guests anymore. Fuck you, get outa here you mother fucker. I got you all on tape cock suckers. You’re crazy, you’re outa your fuckin mind. (a lot of movement, shuffling things around) Did we get all that shit? Come on… (ends)
.....You thought you could steel this fuckin government, you cocksuckers. You are certainly naïve. No, you’re stupid, you’re ignorant, you’re somewhere in between, some fuckin degree of…I don’t give a fuck where you’re at, you’re a LIAR. I’m gonna kill ya every time I see ya motherfucker. Keep your mouth shut, or you’ll die in five minutes. I’m Mr. fuckin consistent. Logic with a capital “L”-‘o’-‘g’-i’-‘c’ lower case, and you figure out where to punctuate it, apostriphate it, and (fart noise) inflate it…hah, deflate it, whatever. Send it to me, it better be valid because I’m gonna kill ya…today. If you’re illiterate to meaning you motherfucker, you’re dead. You got ‘til Friday, at two p.m. from right (banging noise) now. (Makes knocking sound on desk) Supreme court. (continues making knocking sound) Pass it into law…karma…ahhh prinicipality…cause and effect. AAAHHH (intellible)…(makes retard noise)UUUUHHHH! (continues knocking sound, drops object, more knocking)……. Intermission.
.....Hey! I’m not God, I’m a science fiction writer. My name is Rollie Theodore Sakers…yeah, that’s me. I’m a fuckin genius, obviously. You need my help. Spiritually, you’re weak. I don’t do this shit for nothin, you pay me, you motherfuckers. I did all your homework for ya. Now I’ll sell it BACK to you…fifty thousand fuckin dollars a page. Get your fuckin money together and chip in or some fuckin thing, and get spiritually educated while I’m here, cause I ain’t gonna hang around here for long. You make me sick, I’m gonna vomit. I don’t wanna regurgitate on sacred ground because I may fuckin drop something natural somewhere and it might grow into another piece of shit like you. I don’t recognize any of you fuckin people. You’re not real. You came outa comic books. You’re words that don’t qualify to outside real life reference. You don’t make up the fuckin words of the sacred language system, you just apply ‘em appropriately. You have to use ABSTRACTIONS that is mathematically balanced. They don’t mean any fuckin thing, you’re just mocking the language system by makin up words that don’t exist. They have no value schemes at all. They don’t say anything. Polly wanna crackeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (20seconds)…If you can’t do that, don’t fuck with me. I’m a Yoga…I’m a yogiii. I am the source and I am the guuuy. Yo my gal, I yo guy ha ha. He he, ya get it? I’m an American. I’m hip. Suck me off and get smart. You get smarter every time you suck my peter. I’ll let you suck my peter for fifty thousand dollars (makes ticking noise)…Juana Barrett(sp)? Linda Darnell. And a few more. See what I mean, just add any name you want, it’s a form. I’ll sell it to you for fifty thousand dollars. I don’t give a fuck, let ‘em suck you off. Go ahead, be a man, be a sport. They’re dumb, but hey, let ‘em get smart. They’re close. Let ‘em suck you off. You real American man, cum in their mouth. Grab ‘em by the back of the neck and press that vagus nerve. That’s it, work her head up and down. She’s a doll, fuck her in the mouth. Stick that cock down her throat, TURN her on. Bust your nuts in her fuckin mouth, and have her play with her cunt while she SUCKS it! That’s the whole trick, that’s what turns her on. Then she gets hot and busts her nuts and she joins you and wants to suck your cock any time you want. You guys don’t know what love is…
“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT LOVE IIIIIS, UNTIL YOU LEARNED THE MEANING OF THE BLUUUUES. UNTIL YOU HAD A LOVE YOU HAAAAD TO LOOOOOSE. YOU DON’T KNOOOOW WHAAAAAAAT LOVE IIIIIIIIS”
Let’s see, what’s happening…sacks are fillin up again here, yeayah. Well we can stop that thing, ya know, any fuckin time we want. Let’s do it. (ends)
.....It was a real strange thing the other day…along the Appalachian hiiiiiiiiiiiiigghhhhway. And the stars…and the GALAXY, HEY, call the Mars candy bars fuckin corporation or somethin like that, and we got confused with that planet of etc…period. That mother fuckin so on and so forth…etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, etceteraaaaaa…(sings) You’re in the army noooow. That so and so, so called so-ciety of e-t-c, hahahahaahaahaaahaaaaahaaaaahahahahaha Quotation marks. Civilization, aaahhh those are all lower case letters. End quotation…period! Lemme tell you where you’re at mother fuckers. You bought a fuckin ticket and came in here, and you thought you were gonna see a science fiction movie. Well, I’ll tell you what you’re gonna be, you’re gonna BE a science fiction movie. It’s called “science friction”. And we’re gonna burn some heat in your fuckin head and give you a little sinew in your fuckin brain. We’re gonna remodel you’re neuronal structuring and unlock ya. We got your neneric code (genetic code?). We’re the Gods. Planets of Gods, and you cocksuckers’ll do what we tell ya to do, cause we’re from outer space, we ARE outer space you motherfuckers. You’re invadin private property. You’re invadin heaven, that’s what the VOID IS! There’s nothin in here you motherfuckers. You’re just thinking there is. You enter here and you’re fuckin shit. You entered Hell you cocksuckers cause everything reverses. And that’s God’s fuckin acid test. And that’s the supreme one. That aint’ no supreme court there on the ground. That doesn’t even register like a genuine whore-hound fuckin piece of candy. That motherfucker is artificial, all the way. That’s communism. They thought they could incorporate democracy. Kill the motherfuckers. They’re called JEWS! They tried to frame our poor. Yeah, poor, yeah, oh yeah, poor…shew! Poor, unfortunate, yes. Yes, yes negro…mm…ex-slave, yes. Brought over here to work on those plantations, cause he didn’t have anything else to do. He was just runnin around in the fuckin weeds, tryin to have a…lion, or camel, or any fuckin thing he could find for lunch. But when he found em, they fuckin ate him up cause he was dumb. He didn’t even know how to plant corn. He didn’t know the use of the tool. He didn’t know anything. He was a fuckin fool, with no capitals at all. He didn’t know how to spell. Fuck, he had no values…really, cause he couldn’t write em down. See, he had no central language system. He got that from the WHITE MAN…that cauc-cauc-cauc-cauc-cauc-cauc…honkey he calls ‘em. And brainwashes em, see? That honkey’s so fuckin stupid, that he let that nigger, yeah, that fuckin nigger talk him outa his language system. But it was the Jew…who framed the nigger! The Jew that doesn’t have any capital at all, and he just took one. He framed his way right into Christianity. Shit yeah. He knew he had it all locked up, that cocksucker, I was watchin him. I saw that nigger re-nigger. That’s right, he nigger’d twice. That’s what a fuckin nigger is…a nigger who’s nigger’d twice, the re-nigger. Sheew…That’s the nigger with the capital “N”-‘i’-‘g’-‘g’-‘e’-‘r’. That’s the devil, that’s satan, and that’s opposite, that’s exact opposite, that’s extreme, that’s opposite, that’s the exact opposite extreme of truth and everything that’s real. It’s artificial, it’s BULL-shit. It’s formal philosophy…aaahhh. It’s not philosophy. Quote that fucker, that’s a Quotion of man. Hey, man made himself up, what fuck he made everything up! He invented words, he framed the game, he made the rules, he changes em every time he gets in fuckin trouble. He’s full of shit, he’s bullshit. He’s TRAPPED in a comic book logic that’s too valued…it’s not real. He’s not real, he’s not alive, he’s a zombie. He’s DEAD! I’m not gonna resurrect him, I’m sending him back. Take back to the drawing board mister artist. Redesign please. Signed God. I refuse to accept c.o.d. Fuck it, I won’t pay for it. I don’t want it, take it back. (ends)
.....That’s chapter one. Would you like to have chapter two? You better, I know the way. I’m here. I’m on the other side. I’m sittin right here in my apartment. I’m transcendental man. The first one. The first fuckin man to tour on this planet. I’m the only fuckin man there is. You guys are bullshit. You’re eight to ten percent man, you’re in the RACE of man, you’re not man, you’re not me, you’re nothing. You’re shit.
Audio (please seed!): http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/4606836/Rollie_Sakers.mp3